Well my dearest dieting diary,
I am sorry it has been so long. You would think if one stops writing in a fat journal it is because they no longer need help. That unfortunately has not been the case.
>>Before I get started – please do not take offense to my terminology, it is my determination to face the reality of my own situation<<
Things have actually gotten worse. I am at my highest weight. EVER.
And it must stop.
Last year at this time – I worked out like a fiend. My hubby plays football and I was at the gym longer, doing more. He dropped like 20 lbs. I dropped NOTHING. That’s right. Nothing. I tracked my calorie intake in my fitness pal. I struggled to have enough calories every day. But I believe finally, I have determined the problem to be: WHAT I ate and WHEN I ate it.
You see in the morning, 3-5 cups of coffee with about a tablespoon of 2% milk in each cup along with about 1 tablespoon give or take of sugar in each cup. ((ahem – there was about half my calories for the day)). Then somewhere between 5pm and 10pm I would realize that beside coffee I didn’t have anything – look at my fitness pal and say okay – well I have 600 calories so I will have a huge plate of whatever the kids are having. Spaghetti, Lasagna, Often a Salad but with about a quarter cup of Ranch in it. Chicken. Steaks. Not necessarily unhealthy choices (sometimes though) and not necessarily unhealthy portions (but sometimes).
So, somewhere about the end of August, even though I was taking part in The Biggest Loser Run in September, I just stopped trying. My weight wasn’t going down. I raised the white flag and walked away.
The remnants of my battle can be viewed in this blog. I had tried P90X and had a love/hate relationship where I didn’t LOSE A N Y T H I N G. I tried the Shakology by Beach Body – love it- but couldn’t afford it. Yes, yes. I know you are replacing a third of your meals so in essence you should be cutting your grocery bill by 1/3. But that isn’t true if you don’t. eat. breakfast.
So Here I Am.
I know I need help.
Ran into a good friend and we started chatting WeightWatchers. Now my Mom and Sister are both doing that program and have since I-don’t-even-know-when and I mean a LONG time. Both love it and have found great success. But every time I look at the price – I back down.
Well, this time, reflecting on all the money for the fitness club and dvd’s and shakes
determining that MY problem with my weight is WHAT I eat and WHEN I eat – I think this might be may best option.
We attended our first meeting last night. I had no idea what to expect. Well, that isn’t entirely true. My great imagination provided me with several ideas of what it might be like:
“Hello. My name is J.Lyn. I am a mother of three and I weigh now more than I did carrying any of my children. I need help.”
“Hello J.Lyn, Thank you for sharing.”
““J.Lyn! Newcomer of muffintop and rolls, you have been called forth to the summit of Mount Wannalosehalfme to join with us in the fraternal bonds of fat-hood.”
and so on and so forth…
But it wasn’t. They talked about Simple Start, which is the program that Jessica Simpson used to shed her weight. This made me happy and sad. I don’t remember what talk show she did after having her last child where you could tell she wasn’t no skinny mini and I remember applauding!! and Thanking the Reality Gods for shedding a little light on real life in Hollywood. and. She looked beautiful.
Don’t get me wrong of course she is beautiful now. And maybe that subconsciously is what affected me.
I am beautiful now, but I don’t feel good. I am tired often. And as a mom I pretend I am not. But I am.
I can’t think as well… or be as focused when I try. Perhaps this is why motherhood and multitasking go hand in hand. We are all so hungry that in order to accomplish anything we have to jump from task to task so that we stay awake and too busy to admit we need better nutrition.
So anyway, Starting here on out – I am going to jump on here at least three times a day to publish a photo of what I am eating and what time I am eating it. I also got the ActiveLink – but this week I am just supposed to do normal. When I get some info off that and decide to change it up – I will write about that as well. But there it is… my reasons, my goals, my MASTER PLAN.
BWAHAHAHAHAHA weight – goodbye.
Hello Simple Start!