Top 10 Signs You Need More Sleep


So my littlest has been sick.

This is the 3rd day.

 Two full nights with just some really long blinks to sustain me.

What parent hasn’t been there????

Perhaps, when I look back on this it will not be very funny, but right now  the list being compiled in my brain is FANTASTICly true and therefore funny (or extremely sad depending on your stage of sleep deprivation)!

So here we go …………..

10.   There are only 4 new items in your newfeed since the last time you looked.

9.   You have managed to blink so long that when you open your eyes your mind is convinced it is the next day…. until you look at the clock and realize it has only been 10 minutes.

8.   You regularly call your children the wrong name “Sarah, Anna, Megan, WHICHEVER YOU ARE GET OVER HERE!!”  But you now just stare at them blankly not being able to recall any word associated to them.

7.  The same is (almost)  true for your spouse who has not participated in the up all night game…. for that person… there are names at the ready – but none that you can utter in front of your PG audience.

6. You are certain you are suffering permanently in a time warp, because you have made so many pots of coffee you lost count, You have poured endless cups of coffee, but you still do not feel the affects of caffeine.

5.  You have reached a new level of sleep deprivation when you have completed your business on the toilet, you can not remember whether you’ve properly concluded your business so you reach over for the toilet paper only to discover it is empty.  Wasn’t there a full roll when you sat down?

4.  You travel to the store for medicine in your pajamas, without combing your hair, no bra, possibly no panties because  r e a l l y, you are not going to remember being there anyway.   And later when someone says, “I thought I saw you at……”  You can either say, “Hmmmm… nope.  I don’t remember being there.” (no lie) or… if it is another parent.. you can just say, “Yes, my littlest was sick.”  No further explanation needed.

3.  You find yourself dressed up, hair combed sitting at a bar with a very large glass of wine in front of you.  The bartender asks, “Are you waiting for a friend?”  You don’t even bother to look up.  You reach for your glass.  Lift it in toast and say, “Nope, she is right here.” tilt and swallow.  Then you open your eyes  to discover it’s really medicine as you have caught whatever your child has.

2.  You have no idea how you came to be staring longingly out the window at the outside world or how long you have been standing there, but you are reasonably satisfied with the knowledge that  you can sleep standing up.

1. You can not fathom why the toilet is plugged up ~or~ why it looks like you hosted a coffee talk, but no one drank any of the coffee….


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